so this is it. a blog. well with little concern of you the reader. please don't take offense but this is for me to tell you whats going on and you read. I spread thoughts and interest. you become inspired. eyes see new. this is not a journal. i will not claim to make art. this is words that form something for all us to think about. I am not right or wrong. I am not smart nor stupid. this is thought. I refuse to go through life not having a very real and honest journey. i will admit shortcoming and parade the strengths. i will accomplish and fail. i will become more. i will become less. I will not have bullshit in my life. i will love my wife no matter how hard that is or isn't. i will believe in my marriage. now stop for a second. this isn't some preachy no sense. i am care if you think that i don't make sense or have any valid points. i merely am writing to speak thought. i was thinking about my beliefs last night. i stopped and admitted to my self there were things about life that i truly believe with my all. but then i thought aboput how committed i was to said beliefs. that challenged me to really debate whether those beliefs were real or just something to grasp in case of emergency. like a 911 call system. when user is in trouble apply this and problem will have a resolution. i decide that if what i want in is life is to do something then i refuse to see here and talk about it. i will make forward precess. i won't believe everything the news says. i will not always believe that the leaders of the world are right. i will admit that peace is a nice idea but people are not meant to get along as well as we say we should. there will always be a war. whether or not its our brothers, sons, sisters, or daughters fighting and dying. i will not care about those around me that have more than i do. i have more money than most and less money than most. i will not live a life of envy and wanting. i will be content. i will love my family and friends. i will be wrong. do not be a sheep. believe in something real. don't be bullshit. if you get called out then you better be damn sure that what you say is legit. people are dumb and thoughtless. you are selfish and waste time on non sense. i am not talking about your personnel interests. i am talking about you the person.

discipline

lost in a room that has become to familiar. surrounded by peers, colleagues, the elite, poor, getting bys, and those so masked none may ever apply. all those that invested are within arm reach. precious , easy to embrace. small in number too inter-twined to be broken. years have brought on thickness and layers.though tested nievely believed none shall break. we pass as unit. leave no man behind. my vision seems televisionalistic. the turning of head changes channels. all brought to by the same network. the masked and the mirrored. actors themselves have ceased with cues. the show must go on. the ending has yet to be written. time? to cliche. generation pasted have set too much warning for that to stand. experience a guantlet conquered. atop the mountain victorious. a side door taken. that road is far too difficult. lonliness. most are not suitable. few are worthy to find blessing here. drink and laughter are far to quick for such a thing to find home. fall down the rabbit hole . a path is found samll and striaght. farther than mind can comperhend. it was never meant to be complicated.

herself

we are the poor of pockets
we are the weak in voice
the soul finds rest in maturity but the spirit struggles
simplicity strikes emotion description + definition vague
driving alone on an empty highway at nite in serch of.........
the trail blazed has already been analyzed so continue foward
breath in
hold tight
gently close yourself off
dance with my moments i fall a little more
feelings are replaced with thoughts
thoughts are traded for silence
a thrist begins to soften
nothing makes an introduction
a love without restraint
open arms + a genuine smile i fall a little more
are my eyes open?
am i seeing black or just dreaming?
i know what comes next
i just cant wake up